As a child, I quickly learned how to take care of myself. I learned not to lean on anyone and that I was my own best and worst enemy.
Time moved on but I didn’t. Memories of the past haunted me. There was a tape player that filled each thought in my head. We all have one. A tape player that feeds either positive or negative thoughts. An angel or a devil on your shoulder perhaps. I am no different.
My tape player repeated such things as “you will never be good enough. You will never make it. You will always be “poor white trash”. And so I let my inner voice be my guide, thus leading me into many places I had no business being. That’s what happens when you lean on your own understanding. But for the grace of God go I..for it is only by His grace that I stand here today.
Each morning the sun rises, just barely reaching over my balcony to say hello. As I sit sipping a cup of coffee and rummaging through my bible for the words the Lord has for me that day, my mind takes a trip in time. It is in that time that I must lay it all on the line for Him. Certainly He knows. He was there. He was always there. Through every storm, through every tragedy, through every pain filled moment..He was there.
Certainly it would be simple should my story stop there. Ooo, the valleys, the foxholes of forgotten faith or faith yet established. Maybe you’ve been there. Perhaps you are there now. Walk with me…you don’t have to go home but I can lead you to a safe place….