That’s how the conversation began. We were riding down a back road headed for the school Christmas play. My three children were in the back seat (ages 9.5, 11,12) and my daughter’s friend (11) in the front. They were laughing and giggling and doing what they always do…driving me nuts. Then suddenly the child in the front asked, “Ms Katrina, what do you call a boy when he crosses his legs?”
I had to think for a minute. Was she attempting an off-colored joke or was she hoping I would confirm her suspicions of the boy I’d heard so much about in the last few weeks. So I asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, his voice is real high, he has long hair, and he crosses his legs.”
“So,” I respond. If she’s thinking what I think she’s thinking, she’s going to have to spit it out.
“So, isn’t he gay?” Yep…she said it alright. She called him out as if she really knew what was going on his young mind based on the way he sits. This is my daughter’s best friend. This topic is one that apparently stirs up a lot of emotions between the two of them. My daughter defends this young man every day…against every body. She and he aren’t particularly friends but it infuriates her the way others treat him.
The girl continued. “I think he’s gay. No one likes him. I’m not about to sit near him.”
Ok, so it’s break-check time. Pull over the car and get face to face with these kids over such an important matter. Now, I know someone’s going to be mad at me over this before this post is finished. I’m ok with it. Can’t please everybody. But this is how I handled this particular situation with my children. You may do it differently. You may not agree with my views at all. We’ll see.
“First of all, whether he is or is not gay is absolutely none of your business. It has nothing to do with you at all, ” I tell ALL the kids leaning in to the back of my seat hanging on my every word. (about time, huh?) Now when it comes to homosexuality, I believe it’s wrong. I believe it’s a sin that angers God to no end (enough that He destroyed an entire nation over it) and that He will bring judgement to those participating. With that being said, I also went on to say this to my children, “Sin is sin. No sin is greater than the other and while homosexuality is wrong, bullying someone just because they have a different life style or views than you do is equally as wrong. You never have a right to be ugly to anyone simply because you don’t agree with them. And why won’t you sit next to him? Are you afraid of catching something? I’d think he’d be more afraid of sitting next to you and catching your nasty attitude.”
We all make a choice. We all have free will and while some may argue that being homosexual isn’t a choice…that really isn’t for me to decide. I don’t live their life. I don’t feel their pain or deal with the things they deal with on a daily basis. I feel the same about drug addicts. Some people are born with an addictive nature and live their entire lives fighting it. I can’t relate so I won’t try to.
I do know that whatever someone’s choices no one has a right to disrespect them, degrade them, or mistreat them. No one. What someone does in their own bedroom is between them and God. We all have to answer for our actions and what we’ve done in our bodies. None of us are exempt.
As the child hung her head in sudden guilt of how she’d treated this boy, my daughter piped in from the back seat, “What you do to the least of my people you do also unto me”. A verse we’ve quoted many times in our home.