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My Dirty Little Secret from the PHAT farm

13 Feb

I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to come clean.  Today’s the day. Not that anything significant happened really.

I’ve been keeping this secret for quite some time now.  It’s easy to keep a secret of this magnitude. I don’t leave my house. I work from home on my computer so I don’t have to look at anyone or talk to anyone. Easy to pretend.

My secret is one I believe many of you share. I also believe many of you are in denial just as I’ve been for nearly 2 years now.  Three  years ago I got real serious about my life and my health after suffering a 3rd heart attack.  I got into great shape and stepped out into a new world.

Two years ago, I fell off the wagon and have gone down hill since.  So, today I’m sharing my secret. (Sure hope my husband isn’t reading this.) Why am I sharing so publicly? I believe we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge and we need accountability. At least I do. I’m hoping to encourage some of you to step out of your closet as well and join me.

So….here goes.

I stepped on the scale today for the first time in over a year. There were lots of tears involved as I saw 193.8 flashing. Yes..nearly 200 lbs when just 3 years ago, I weighed 145.

I have 10 weeks until I see my husband again and I really want him to see a different person. He deserves better. My kids deserve better. I deserve better. I am taking pictures though I won’t be sharing them until MUCH later. Probably not until I can stomach looking at them myself.

So, anyone going to join me in confession here? I’ll be checking back in each week to share my progress.

Thanks for allowing me to share this shameful part of my life and for being the audience you’ve always been.

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18 Comments

Posted by on February 13, 2009 in encouragement

 

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18 responses to “My Dirty Little Secret from the PHAT farm

  1. Alexander White

    February 13, 2009 at 4:38 am

    Im with you! I actually last week started a similar program so I support you 100%.

     
  2. Ron Berry

    February 13, 2009 at 5:44 am

    ten weeks until you see your husband? Where is he and why? As for the weight gain, don’t worry about it. You can lose it over time. Concentrate on your writing, it’s good.

     
  3. Katrina Wampler

    February 13, 2009 at 5:49 am

    Remember, my husband lives in PA. I live in NC. we wont see each other until Easter Break. I’d sure love to look great when he sees me again. I am so lucky that when he looks at me, he still looks at me the way he did years ago. He always makes me feel so beautiful. Unfortunately, when I look at myself, I don’t feel that way. I have to lose it for me, for my healthy, and for my future.

    I will keep you all updated.

     
  4. ECS Dave

    February 13, 2009 at 6:32 am

    Wow Kat,

    I wish you all the very best in your efforts, and I hope to be able to see the results ongoing.

    Be Well!
    ECS Dave

    P.S. I’m sure you’re inundated with whatever and whatnot regarding weight loss programs, I have something I am working on, and I’d like you to have it in exchange for a testimonial? I’m guessing you know how to get in contact with me via twitter?

     
  5. Deb Hockenberry

    February 13, 2009 at 11:44 am

    I’ve hit this ‘bump’ myself. So, I’ve been hunting all over town for a yoga class for beginners. I have 2 goals in mind here. To get out among people since writing is such an isolating thing & to get physically fit (maybe lose some weight in the process!). I suppose yoga isn’t the ‘in’ thing right now. I keep finding pilates excersise classes. I’m not to sure if I want to do them since I can hardly get myself off of the floor. In yoga, I do know that you can do the excersises sitting. I know zilch about pilates. About your weight problem, I can totally relate to that!
    Deb 🙂

     
  6. Kim Smith

    February 13, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    I am with you. I started back walking, and just began adding sprints and jogging a little. I actually had chest pains the other day and went to the ER to undergo tests to see how my heart was. It is fine, and I am in good shape. I intend to lose ten pounds before summer if it kills me!

     
  7. Linore Rose Burkard

    February 13, 2009 at 2:21 pm

    Oh, Kat, I SO hear what you’re saying. I am gearing up for a year with more speaking engagements and I really need to join you on that “get fit” bandwagon. Every summer I trim down a bit because I love swimming, but in the winter I backslide and put on some weight. But worst of all, I get little exercise in the cold months. We have a treadmill, and it’s great for hanging clothes on, lol!
    I’ve been grappling with this issue for a long time. Why do I work so darn hard to stay in shape at times, and then at other times, let all the work go down the drain? I don’t even dislike walking on the treadmill–my usual “excuse” is that I have a lot of cleaning to do to keep me in shape, but it doesn’t do the trick.
    Anyway, I’ll be praying for you, my sister. You can do this– God can make a way where there seems to be no way (for both of us–heck, for all of us)!
    Many blessings,

    Linore
    http://www.LinoreRoseBurkard.com
    Inspirational Romance for the Jane Austen Soul

     
  8. Connie Arnold

    February 13, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    You have my support and prayers, Kat! Although I’ve never had a weight problem, I do have health issues that require healthy eating and trying to exercise, plus wanting to look good even though I may feel awful. Your health will surely benefit from the weight loss, as well as your self esteem. It’s important to feel good about yourself, and congratulations to you on making this effort!

     
  9. Katie Hines

    February 13, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    I have so much more to lose than you do. At times, I’ve despaired. Then I got affiliated with a program that was pretty expensive, but was working. Then my husband lost his job. Then he got a new job, but has been laid off more weeks than he’s worked. So, we’re hurting here with drastically reduced finances, and no way to buy the sorts of foods I know I need. We’re talking really minisclue amount here.

    http://katiehines.blogspot.com

     
  10. Katrina Wampler

    February 13, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    you HAVE to join me on 90 second fitness. No gym needed, no special food. Trust me, I know what broke looks like..and an empty fridge.

    Next month we’re having The Ultimate You week and the creator/founder of 90 second fitness , Pete Cerqua, is going to chat live with us. He’s incredible.

    He’ll be stopping in today to let you know a little bit about 90 SECOND FITNESS.

     
  11. Marvin D Wilson

    February 13, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    I applaud your transparency and your commitment coupled with public accountability. I could have made this same post last summer, when I had ballooned up to 215 pounds – the ideal weight for a man my age my height is 165-170 – I was FIFTY pounds overweight!! I felt like a fat pig, all jiggly when I walked, ashamed of myself and knowing fully I was not treating my body as a “temple of the Lord” with such obesity. So I put myself on a permanent lifestyle diet of grazing and am now down to around 180. I held my self accountable to a couple close people, family and friend, it helps. 15 pounds to go, and by God I’m NOT going down that road AGAIN!

     
  12. Katrina Wampler

    February 13, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    You’re right Marv. It’s a horrible feeling. Nothing fits. I hate leaving the house. I have several speaking engagements starting in April and no way am I standing in front of ANYONE feeling the way I do.

    I’m hoping the public accountability really helps. Luckily (or maybe not) for me, I hardly ever look like I weigh as much as I do, but this time I am soooo out of shape I can hardly breathe.

    Will check back in next Friday for updates from the PHAT FARM>

     
  13. Pete Cerqua

    February 13, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    The power of prayer. The power of positive thinking. The power of strength and a little “good information… We need all of this just to get through one single day. There is so much going on in our lives. So much confusion and clutter. I want to help you sort through this, to simplify, to get a grip on it all. I gave Katrina just a few things to try that only requires a very short time commitment. I am here for Katrina and all her friends.

    We have to approach this from the inside out. I don’t care of you weigh over 300lbs. First – stop exercising (and start strength training). Two hours of aerobics per day will do nothing for you. Second – let’s make tiny changes to your current diet that will add up to big changes later. Last – before you start giving me any excuses (my knees hurt, I have a bad hip, I don’t want to sweat) let me ask you these questions;
    Do you have access to a wall?
    Do you have access to a floor?
    Will you devote 3 minutes of your day to a very productive program that will change your life?

    I look forward to the opportunity to come into your lives through my friend Katrina,
    Pete

     
  14. Katrina Wampler

    February 13, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    Thanks Pete for stopping by. I’m reading your book and finally feel like there’s hope. You know all about my health history and my needs. thank you for your support and all your attention.

     
  15. madcapmaggie

    February 13, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    I just saw my doctor and I now weigh 172, six pounds more than last year, which was six pounds more than the year before —

    anyway Dr. wants me to take off 10 lbs. I’d love to take off 20.

    Pete, what’s the name of your book??

     
  16. Lea Schizas

    February 13, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    Totally understand. My scale yelled at me to get off before I broke it. I used to weigh 140-145 after I had my five kids. Hit 40 and suddenly the chocolates mixed in my bag of chips seems to have become my enemy. I now weigh or rather fluctuate anywhere between 188-192.

    Yesterday, one of my twin daughters forced (tricked) me to come see this Wii exercise thing she’s been doing that’s fun and you don’t realize you’re actually exercising.

    I went…like a fool.

    She conjured up a figure for me, the Wii gave me my BMI and weight, asked me my goals to achieve in two months, and now my daughter is suddenly my exercise guru.

    In all honesty, this has got to be the most fun way for me to exercise in a long time. I only did a half hour but I was sweating, cursing and wanting to quit. I did the step, hula hooped, headbutted soccer balls, and then did the jogging trail. Well, can I tell you I was sore, heart bumping, and ready to say ‘they lied! This is not a game! It’s really exercising!”

    Anyone that has the Wii, go check out this exercise program – sorry no one near me to find out the name right now. It measures everything for you, keeps track of your daily gain or loss, gives you the age your body acts like — first time it put me 2 years older than I was, and yesterday I was 10 years younger. BIG SMILE!

    Like Katrina, my butt is glued on the chair and eyes focused on the computer. For a half an hour a day I will commit for the next two months and see where it takes me. I’ll keep you updated on my progress.

     
  17. bdtharp

    February 14, 2009 at 9:46 pm

    Much good luck and support go to you. Being strong and healthy is the most important thing and I understand about the extra pounds. I joke about not losing the weight after having my boy (who is now almost 33) so don’t stop. Keep going. You can do it! Don’t give up or get discouraged, we are cheering for you every step of the way.

     
  18. Joyce A. Anthony

    February 15, 2009 at 1:46 am

    Kat: I’d like to say I know how you feel, but that has been a way of life for me. At 8 years old, I weighed 136 pounds, at sixteen, I cried for days when I reached 200. I’ve tried every diet imaginable (and almost literally killed myself on a couple) to no avail. Now..I’ve pretty much resigned myself to being old, fat and ugly-not worthy of a second look let alone a lasting one.

    I will gladly, however, give you every bit of support I can

     

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