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An Advocate For My Son

26 Aug

It’s still early morning here in North Carolina. There’s a heavy layer of fog sitting just inches from the black top in front of my country home. It’s morning fogquiet…peaceful.  As I sit on my front porch listening the birds chirping, I am thankful for such a peaceful place and the opportunity to have such a wonderful home and life.  All is right with the world.

The morning didn’t start out this way. I have a son that went from being the sweetest kid on Earth to an angry, resentful teenager over night. Last school year I spent two hours a day on the road getting him back and forth to school so he could stay with his friends after we had a house fire. This year, he has to go to his own school because the school board won’t allow him to go outside his district…that somehow became my fault. 

He has suddenly decided he has to have chains hanging from his jeans in order to survive. I spent hours last night searching for jeans that were suitable and the proper hardware to decorate them adequately. The bolt cutters wouldn’t work. He now hates me and wishes he could die.

He keeps his hair in front of his face and I can barely see his beautiful brown eyes. I can’t remember the last time I heard him laugh. He was always such a happy child. I’ve heard many say this happens when they turn 13. I watch for signs of things to really be concerned for but other than that, I give him space and try to understand he’s going through a ‘phase’ and he’ll return to me. At least I pray.

I wait for any opportunity that he might open up…that he might share just a bit of his day with me. Good or bad. I leave the door open in case he needs me though I never bombard him with questions or mandates. I try to be gentle and allow him a little distance in order to find his way though I would never let him get too far.

When he’s gone, I go to my Father and plead on my son’s behalf for his safety. I beg God to encamp His angels around my son and guard his heart and his actions. I plead for his forgiveness and stand in the gap as his advocate reminding God that this is the very thing He sacrificed His son for…not that He needs reminding.

Then I can’t help but to think…we, even as adults, do the same thing to Jesus. We turn our backs on him. We demand that “In God We Trust” come off our money and prayers be taken out of schools yet we wonder where He is when tragedy strikes. We wonder why He didn’t intervene. We go weeks, months, or perhaps longer without speaking to Him. Without sharing even the smallest details of our lives with Him.  Yet we fall to our knees when our lives are on the line.  We muddle through our day to day lives without caring how it hurts Him to see us distance ourselves for no good reason. And in all this, I find hope. Hope in knowing that as many times as I’ve run back to my Father and fallen on my knees begging Him to take me into His arms once more, that my son too will return back to the gentle nature he was given. That He too will find his way back to where he belongs and that just as Jesus has repeatedly  done for me, I will do for my son. I will be here when He returns.

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4 Comments

Posted by on August 26, 2009 in encouragement

 

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4 responses to “An Advocate For My Son

  1. Terri

    August 26, 2009 at 2:16 pm

    Now you have made me cry… What a wonderful, wonderful note Katrinia… See, you have already figured it out, you just don’t realize it. IN HIS TIME… This is a learning time for your son. He is now neither man nor child, he is confused. He wants to “fit in” but he wants his own self. He wants acceptance from his peers, he wants to be his own person. It is such a terrible confusing time for him… You are his rock, he has to vent to you. Trust me, you will hear a 1000 times how you are a rotten mom, it’s all your fault, you don’t love me, I hate you… the list goes on and on. Then one day, as fast as this happened, it will be back to normal. You will turn around and then have to go thru it again with the next child!!! Welcome to motherhood. The Lord will stay with you thru all of it. HE won’t let you fall, you will keep your strenght! I love you guys, wish we didn’t live so far away!

     
  2. Nichole Osborn

    August 26, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    Kat,
    I totally understand your concern. My oldest son is 14, and the last year and a half has been hard. He has become a rude, disrespectful (not all of the time), sullen, hermit. Have you read Dobson’s Bringing up Boys? It has been very helpful to me, to understand what’s going on with him.( I grew up in a neighborhood with very little male involvement. God has now placed me in house full of males. Even our dog is male.Lol) I will be praying for the both of you.:0)

     
  3. Katrina Wampler

    August 26, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    I actually think I have that book. I’d better go be digging it up. Up until now, my boys have been so easy to deal with. Funny how fast things change.

    Thanks for the prayers.

     
  4. ccmal

    August 28, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    I’ve read “Bringing Up Boys” and it’s outstanding.

    I’m sorry to hear of your trouble Kat. I totally understand. Our son was a perfect angel for 18 years; then we became those stupid idiots he lived with. He had dated in HS but got seriously involved with a young woman around his 18th birthday. Since then nothing has been the same.

    He purposely flunked out of college so that he could work F/T and move in with her. If my old roommate hadn’t told me he was planning to move out I never would have known. And it’s been one thing after another since then. He’s actually harder to deal with at times than my strong-willed daughter.

    I just keep praying for him and hoping that everything we taught him for the first 18 years before we became idiots is still in there somewhere.

    Cheryl

     

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